Why I Only Date Single Mothers and Will Love to Marry One

Let me start by saying this isn’t a pity story or some woke attempt to gain applause. It’s my truth, and if you read till the end, you might just see single mothers the way I do—strong, beautiful, resilient, and the kind of women worth building a future with.

I’m a 34-year-old working-class Nigerian man, based in Lagos. I’m not a celebrity or influencer—just a guy who grew up watching life hit people in different ways. And one thing life taught me early on was this: experience is a teacher, but pain is the syllabus.

Growing up in Ajegunle, my mother raised me and my two siblings single-handedly. My father died when I was 8, and I watched that woman turn dust into dignity. She sold pepper in the market during the day and did tailoring jobs at night. There were nights she didn’t eat, just so we could. Watching her gave me a different kind of respect for women—especially single mothers. Not out of sympathy, but because they move mountains in silence.

Fast forward to my adult life. After two heartbreaks from what society calls “complete” women—ladies with no kids, no “baggage”, and supposedly no complications—I stumbled into something unexpected: love with a single mother.

She was a 28-year-old banker with a five-year-old son. We met at a birthday party in Surulere. She wasn’t trying to impress anyone. She was just… her. Confident, real, mature. When we started talking, it was different. No games, no unnecessary drama. She was direct—she didn’t have time to waste, and neither did I. And that’s the first thing I noticed about her: clarity.

People say single mothers come with baggage. I say they come with clarity. They’ve been through fire, and they don’t have the luxury to play games. They value time, loyalty, and real effort. When she told me she had a son, I didn’t flinch. Instead, I was curious. And what I found was a woman who had learned how to love deeply and protect fiercely.

Here’s what they won’t tell you: single mothers don’t love halfway. When they love you, it’s intentional. It’s layered. They’ve seen the worst of men and life, so when they choose you, it’s not by mistake—it’s with thought and heart. And that’s powerful.

Let me be honest—dating a single mother isn’t a walk in the park. You don’t just date her; you slowly earn your place in her world. You learn patience, responsibility, and respect. Her time is split between her child, her work, and her sanity. So, if she’s giving you her time, don’t waste it. I had to learn to be selfless. I had to learn to love a child that wasn’t mine. And let me tell you, the first time her son called me “uncle,” and later, “daddy,” my heart melted in a way I didn’t expect.

It made me realise that love isn’t just about romance. It’s about purpose. That child made me a better man. He taught me patience, vulnerability, and even how to dance to Cocomelon songs.

Now, people ask me: “Why would you want to marry a single mother when you can marry someone ‘fresh’ with no responsibilities?”

And my answer is always the same: It’s not about what someone comes with—it’s about what they’ve survived, what they offer, and how they love. I don’t need perfection. I need peace, maturity, and a woman who knows how to love with depth. And I’ve found that in single mothers more than anywhere else.

DON’T MISS: EPISODE 1: Guilty as Charged – A Marriage in Crisis

I know society in Nigeria often frowns at single mothers. We act like they’re damaged goods, or that a woman loses value because she has a child. But the truth is, if anything, motherhood has refined her. It’s made her stronger, wiser, and more emotionally intelligent. And if you’re lucky enough to be chosen by such a woman, don’t take it lightly.

So yes, I only date single mothers. And if I’m going to marry anyone, it will most likely be one. Not because I can’t find someone else, but because I’ve found wholeness in women who the world called broken.

To every single mother out there: You are more than enough. You are not a second choice. You are not defined by your past or your child. And for some of us, you are exactly what we’ve been looking for.

And to every man out there still stuck in the idea that single mothers are “too much work,” maybe you just haven’t done enough work on yourself to handle a queen.