5 ‘Act Of Love’ After Intense Conflict Resolution With Your Spouse

How are things with your partner whenever you guys finish addressing or resolving conflicts? Tense? Awkward? Uncomfortable?

In this article, this Online News Media will introduce you to ‘After-Conflict Care’.

Just as the name implies, after-conflict care (Read as ACC from hereon), is simply acts of love that you and your partner perform towards each other after conflict, in order to reassure yourselves that “just because we just fought doesn’t mean I care about you any less.”

So what are the ways you can engage in ACC, especially after an intense conflict-resolution episode?

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Words of affirmation

“I love you,” “I’m happy to be with you”, “This doesn’t change anything, you know that right?” “I still care about you.” “Thank you for listening to me and not invalidating my concerns.” “I appreciate that you trusted me enough to be honest with me.”

These words go a long way in reassuring your partner you’re still very much smitten with them and you’re not going anywhere

Resume activities as normal

If you guys would usually eat together, pray together or spend the evening watching movies… don’t let the awkwardness or residual tension stop you from doing so. Rather, make a point to still go about your normal activities.

Talk about how your day went over a meal, laugh and rant about all the things you like or find upsetting about the movie you’re watching, hold hands and pray together as you always would. Don’t worry, once you start, you’ll ease into it and the heightened emotions will fade.

Physical contact

Hug, cuddle when you go to sleep. Kiss them on their foreheads, invite them into the shower (Married people only please), hold hands, rest on their shoulders, e.t.c. You sha get the drift Use touch to communicate that you still want them

Communicate

Keep the communication going! Someone tweeted about how her partner messaged her in the middle of the day after an argument, accusing her of not reaching out, and she shyly responded that it was because she didn’t know what to say. His response to that?

“Say ‘Hey Babe’.” Now, I found that so sweet! Utterly sweet! That’s just the way it should be. Don’t get caught up in your head, trying to think of what would be the most perfect thing to say to break the ice. Nah, don’t do that. Just talk like you’d normally talk.

After all, you’ve resolved the issue, so what are you afraid of? And even if it’s still pending resolution, that doesn’t mean the love has to stop flowing. Still call them, message them, ask about their day, how work is going, if there’s anything you can help them with. You get.

Send gifts

Know that gifts are not a replacement for an actual apology and trying to make things right oooo! Let the gifts come after you must have apologized, or accompanied with a proper apology, and please, preferably nothing over the top because then, it’d be like you’re trying to buy them. Thoughtful is the way to go. My favourite recommendation is a lunch box, some flowers, e.t.c Things they actually like.

5 steps to mastering after-conflict care. Practice this often enough and slowly watch your conflict resolution get better, whilst seeing just how much stronger and healthier it can help your relationship become